DO WHAT YOU CAN, WHERE YOU ARE, WITH WHAT YOU HAVE – Theodore Roosevelt
Self Love is crucial for your happiness
The words Self Love always seemed selfish or just a little over the top to me. After all, aren’t we supposed to think of others, and if we do that, how are we going to have time for ourselves? What is self-love anyway?
The Ways We Should Love Ourselves
Embrace and accept who you are right now
Self Love is about accepting ourselves as we are and then building upon that. Look around you and notice how no one has a perfect life. No one has it all. It may seem like it, but every time I think this about someone I eventually find out about a struggle that person has that I would not want for myself. This fact remains, nobody is better than you, and you are no better than anyone else. The human heart deserves respect in everyone including you. Now that we know that, we need to treat ourselves with respect. If you are a person who treats others great but doesn’t treat yourself good, you are missing out.
Forgive yourself and others
To love ourselves, we need to forgive ourselves for anything we did that may be weighing us down. It’s important to say you’re sorry when you hurt someone, even if it was an accident. Loving ourselves means knowing we are good people and treating others appropriately. If we do this, we won’t have to feel the guilt of messing up, which can weigh heavy on our minds.
Also, we need to forgive everyone that ever hurt us in any way. Sometimes looking at where that person came from or what kind of day they were having helps you to let go of what they did.
I was able to forgive someone that hurt me terribly when I found out that when he was a child, he was locked in a shed for hours at a time. I began to realize that sometimes people’s experiences in life affect how they behave. We can’t fully understand why they do those things unless we’ve been in their shoes. Some people just aren’t at a place in their life yet, to be able to realize that they hurt you. So you need to let go because you would want that understanding from them for yourself. Nobody is perfect, we all make mistakes, and it’s ok to move on from them. Let go of the bad memories. Counteract them with something positive to think about whenever they enter your mind. Sometimes it takes time to be able to do this so don’t be too hard on yourself. The more you do it the easier it gets.
Start planning a way to reach your dreams
Self -love is making a plan for yourself and your life. You should set some goals and have a plan of how you are going to get there. Make some of the goals simple but also go ahead and dream big! When we have some things to work towards a little bit at a time, it ‘s more realistic, and it’s not overwhelming to keep going. If we have something we always wanted to do but see no way of fitting it into our life, then that is our dream that we can work towards. The time you take working toward these plans, making changes and decisions that will allow you to live your dreams then becomes interesting, fun, and rewarding. We all enjoy something in this world, so make some time to delve into these things. Living with a purpose gives you something to get out of bed for every day.
Guard your mind
If we love ourselves we will want to take care of ourselves. The mind is the most important! If our minds are set where they should be, self-care follows naturally. So a lot of us are overweight and ashamed of it. Don’t be. Since when do we have to be perfect! Perfection in every area of your life is unrealistic. Improvement is realistic. Self-love is how we think of ourselves and how we encourage ourselves during the good and the rough times. Our self-talk needs to be positive like we would encourage anyone else. No scolding thoughts about yourself, like “that was a stupid thing to do”, or “when am I going to learn”, or even “I hate myself when I do that”. Just don’t go there. Instead, tell yourself comforting things like, “I messed up but I can learn something from this so I won’t do it again”. If you stopped exercising and know you need to start, tell yourself, “I will get this, one day at a time, I will get there. Then move forward. Don’t give up doing the good stuff because you’re not perfect at it. Some is better than none. You will eventually get to where you want to be and it will be more enjoyable getting there if you are not so critical of yourself.
Take care of your health
Remember your first pet and how you loved to play with it and feed it. Taking care of it was so much fun and you loved it. Unlike a pet, taking care of ourselves seems boring and monotonous to some people. Some people love it. Most importantly, when you do it you feel better. When you feel better you are happier. There is an important factor in taking care of our health that we often don’t think about. How you take care of yourself now will show up later. We can think we are getting away with skipping a few things but then it seems all of a sudden we have high blood pressure, rotting teeth, higher weight, and terrible skin. Plus we feel crappy. Taking care of your health has enormous payoffs but you have to do it with faith. You have to believe it will pay off even though you can’t see it immediately.
Set your limits
Do you tend to be drawn to people who aren’t good for you or don’t treat you well? Do you spend too much time with others instead of the people who mean the most to you? Maybe you go crazy with exercise and are in wonderful shape but haven’t had time to sit and talk with your kids. There is a perfect balance in life that we all wish we could find. The balance of our time and surroundings is the basis of good mental health and the health of our relationships. All we have to do is make a commitment that sets boundaries for each part of our life that we tend to go overboard on. If exercising too much is an issue maybe an hour of exercise is enough. Set a goal for a certain part of the day that’s dedicated to your kids or spouse. For me, I tend to not do something unless I set a goal and limits. If I right them down where I can check them off as I do them I have more success. When it comes to loving ourselves, doing the things that make us happy is important. It’s ok to make your life about you, Just not all about you. Does that make sense?
We can’t control everything that happens in our life, good or bad, but we can control how we look at our life and ourselves. We can control our hopes for tomorrow and hope is the one thing no one can take away from you.