Guiding your adolescent or teen can feel overwhelming and trying to persuade them to make YOUR choices doesn’t work for anybody. Let’s just say that adolescents are a unique breed! I say that with a positive note because they are working at finding their uniqueness.
Sadly, many parents face the problem of depression in their teens and all the issues that can come along with it.
Before I get into several ideas of what you can do if your teen is at that point, I think we should look at all the possibilities of positive approaches in dealing with adolescent’s typical behaviors. You can see the post on teen depression here. (coming soon)
I do want to tell you that going through the adolescent years of my own four children I learned a lot of things I never knew before. Most of all, if your teen is having problems, don’t blame yourself. Yes, there are horrible parents out there, but somehow some of their kids live through these years with no issues! So, parents have a huge role in the teen’s development and maturity, but teens will make their choices for themselves in the end.
I always think of how sad it is in our country with the addiction epidemic and so many kids that are bullied or don’t feel loved, and don’t get the help they need to understand how to deal with things they face day to day. Guiding our adolescents and teens, so they don’t want to do those drugs or hang with the “bad kids” is going to take your focused attention.
Below is a list of reactions parents can have to their teen’s behavior. If you would like to learn more about teen parenting you can get my free guide by entering your name and email below. Be open to your teen expressing themselves.
- Don’t say ANYTHING degrading.
- Minimize rules to only the ones that will keep them safe.
- Expect power issues but treat them like a debate.
- Be calm about expressing your reasons for your beliefs.
- Allow your teen to develop his unique blend of beliefs.
- Most kid’s parents who have been flexible in their teen’s choices of culture and values will have their teen return to the families values at least partially.
- Encourage your teen to learn about what they care about.
- Give opportunities for your teen to discover new interests.
- Relax and let go.
In my experience with my four children, I learned from the oldest child, that all the rules and restrictions only led them to keep secrets. I also learned that each teen is different, with different abilities, talents, struggles, and needs.
Having a teenager doesn’t have to be miserable. It won’t be problem free, but if you follow the guide you will be on your way to a teen who has learned:
What they want out of life
How to be independent
Those bad choices have their consequences
Self-Respect or Self-Confidence
Get your full guide here